Gravity Printer

My printer is world famous.
Well..
Famous in my social circle.
But not for the right reasons.
My printer has a unique ability, similar to that of an existential being, which it likes to show off at ANY time of day.
My printer... Has it's own gravitational force.
And it's a right little bastard about it.Now I know in physics, "everything has its own gravitational pull, but it's just too small-" blah blah blah. My printer's is MASSIVE. If anyone ever drops anything in my room, no matter how close they are to the printer,whatever they've dropped will hit it. I can be sat at my computer idling my time away, when suddenly there'll be a disturbance in the force. This causes me to cautiously look towards the printer, and LOW AND BEHOLD, a poster has fallen on top of it from across the room.
Literally, this poster's flown about 7 feet over to my printer.
Any tennis balls in my room?
They'll hit the printer.
If anything falls off the desk at any point in the day; it'll land IN the printer.
Oh, what's that? Any money I have is going to fall inside the paper slot for the printer?
Of course it is.
I'm not sure how much extra my Uncle will've had to pay to get a printer with such annoying (but amazing) powers.
It makes me wonder if the printer has any form of conscious? Maybe it simply lacks the capacity to speak. Maybe it has little depressed/suicidal tendancies and likes to do the equivalent to a printer self-harm. In which case, I should probably take it to a psychiatrist...
HOWEVER, I think it's actually just a smug little bastard with a wicked sense of humour.
Seriously Printer.
I'll cut you.